Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I am basically coming apart at the seams here. Everything that I do to maintain my health is unraveling. My addictive habituations are flaring way up. I am at risk of losing the progress I've made dietarily. (I ordered a danish.)

The stress of the impending deadline and our need for a loan is too much for the fragile mind that is left after weeks of trial and error based planning.

If nothing else, I will sit at home and call every god damn bank in the area. SOMEONE will give me a loan based on my collateral. We've just been too timid. I want my fucking money. If I can't get a loan I am going to speak to the people that owe me money directly about whether or not it's possible for me to get an advance on just part of what they owe me.

Hell, why haven't I done that yet? Damn. I'm calling them tonight.

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